the pain lingers

It has been such a short while since my dear wife left this world. Ever since her passing, I have kept myself busy. Even though there was pain and sadness from not having her around, we had the funeral/cremation, a wonderful visit to New Vrindavan and Gita Nagari, a short visit to Vraj (in PA) and then we returned "home", a place where we have been since october last. However, coming back here has had its intense moments. After all, it is Gopilila's parent's home, a house where she spent some of her formative years (her folks have lived here for 30 years), a home where "we" spent about 7 months as a family, and a home where she left her body. Yes, there are memories floating around.
I want to thank everyone who has stayed up with the blog - silent or not. Really, it is your well wishes and prayers for my departed wife and "remaining" family that I crave. However, words of support and encouragement are like icing on the cake. My request is that if anyone has some memories of her - fond or not - that they share them. I would like to collect them so that if the kids want to know something about her, in the future, they can read some remembrances of her. You can either write them here, or if you want you can email them to me.
So, the house here is filled with memories. Also, there are a lot of her crafts around too. Gopilila went to the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD) for about three years and then did a semester in France, too. There are a few of her ceramics - vases and bowls - and paintings around the house. Also, she was a knitter. She made a few teddy bears in the last months - she gave one to her mother and each of her children. Seeing some of her work around the house are a combination of sweetness and pain.
Yes, I am hankering from the separation of a mortal body in a mortal world. It makes me reflect on the hankering of the goswamis from separation with Sri Krishna. I feel my pain and sadness deep in my heart; I sometines feel that it must be like a minute particle of goswamis separation from the Lord.
I am hoping that the passing days, time, will help heal my sadness. I am hopeful that I will slowly see her departure with joy - that she is free from the encumbrances of this body that was causing her so much pain, that she is in a better place, better situated to serve the Lord and His associates, and that she has progressed further on her path back home.

Gopilila's time in this body has ended...

Dear devotees and friends,
As you may know Gopilila left this world Tuesday, may 6, 2008 at about8.15 pm. By Sri Krishna's arrangement there were several devotees chanting for her and we built it to a crescendo with a nice kirtan. We chanted for her till about midnight, when the funeral home came and picked her up Before they took her body away, a few of the devotees bathed her and dressed her in a nice sari, decorated her body with tilak and we had a kirtan till the body was taken away.
Her cremation is on Friday, May 9th at 10 am. Please try and remember her at this hour wherever you are...
thank you for all the prayers and support.