Nose picking music

I'd like to clarify that I do like blue grass music. I love the rhythm of it, the folksiness of it; and I love the banjo. Interestingly, I found out that the banjo has it's roots in Africa and the African American diaspora. My first intro to bluegrass was at the Telluride bluegrass festival, CO in the early ninetees. It was a pretty magical experience. I am not sure if it is just nostalgia for a time gone past, including the fact that I was single and free, not a care in the world; the intoxication of youth. Anyways, it felt like a magical time then, it still feels so now. One of the performers I saw there was Bela Fleck (and the flecktones) a wonderful Banjo player who I hear may be recording with Karnam.
I enjoy bluegrass and so did Gopi.
Anyways, one day a couple of months ago, Gopal, Vrinda and I were driving in Burlington, MA listening to the radio and some bluegrass music was on. Gopala, I think it was, asked if it was bluegrass music playing, i said yes. He said , "Oh! Then pick your nose". So, naturally, while Vrinda and he proceeded to pick their nose to the rhythm of the song, I asked him who had told him so and he replied "Maia"(his and Vrinda's way of adressing their mother). Needless to say I was touched by the experience - hearing him share what his mother had told him (and his sister) and them sharing it with me so soon after her passing away. After Gopi's passing away, I was interested in being able to relate to her loss in a natural way - accept the reality of it and cherish the wonderful times. This incident revealed to me that it could be done.  So, everythime since, when we hear some bluegrass music we smile at each other and pick our noses to the rhythm. Yes, the key is to pick to the rhythm. (For those interested in this sacred tradition: You can use the same finger for both hands or do a simultaneous double picking. i recommend using the pinky. Yeah, Sri Krishna can lift Govardhan hill with his pinky with the ease with which i pick my nose to bluegrass with my pinky.)

minefield

So, Gopala, Vrinda and I are continuing our sojourn in this world. Towards the end of June, we came to California to visit my sister's. I have a couple of sisters who live in the Bay area, south of San Francisco. They both have sons about Gopala's age. We have been staying with my sister Meena and her family. It has been really good for the kids and I to be here.
While we have been here we went to the Ratha Yatras in San Francisco and LA and met with many of the local devotees including expat NV devotees, Bhim and Jen, Indra and KD.
While things have been going on, life has been progressing in a sort of vacuum from my (our) loss. My internal state is like a minefield - from afar things look fine, but at any moment I can step on something that triggers intense feelings of separation and pain.
There is a really nice congregation of devotees here in San Jose; a wonderful community of very sincere vaishnavas headed by Vaisesika das, a senior Prabhupada disciple who is quite an inspiration. Gauranga Kishore (another NV expat) lives at the temple in San Jose and it has been really wonderful to have his association. Also, Ananta Govinda (another NVite) lives in the area with his wife.
The only thing that I can think of in relation to my loss is that we need to treasure our time with each other in this ephemeral world - learn to live and care for each other and try to make some significant progress in our internal journey home.