So, fortunately, the measles episode for the kids seems to be under control. The rash on their bodies have subsided (mostly) and they have recovered from the lethargy that accompanied the illness (they are back to driving Gopi and me nuts, but it's betetr having them this way than all spaced out). It seems like I have got a bit of the bug, too or it may be all the stress etc that has accumulated and I have been feeling really tired for the lst couple of days. feel better today, though.
Gopi's got two more radiation treatments left for this phase of her treatment. They have cancelled her last chemotherapy, which was due yesterday, because her blood count was too low. However, wea re kind of glad. The treatment has her knocked out. She was really faint today. She wanted to go for a walk down the hall but barely made it to the door. However, it is not constant after some rest she seemed a tad bit better.
We were visted by a dutch devotee named Jayananda today. He is really interesting - he has spent years on and off in India, but really likes the Udupi area. I met him here several months ago and he is back again.
There are two ayurvedic doctors in this area who are frequented by devotees (and others too) - Dr. Shiv Kumar (who has treated Varsana Swami, Niranjana Swami and others) and Dr. Tanmay Goswami (who was a gurukuli and is related to the Radha Raman family). Anyways, about 10 days before Gopi was in the hospital in April (for her chest surgery - they removed a part of the lining of her left lung) we had gone to see Dr. Tanmay Goswami. He does this thing where he looks at the astrological charts of his patients. Anyways, he saw Gopi's chart (at that time she was just having lung pains ) and said "wrong diagnosis"!!! Well, now we know...
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
as luck would have it
thanks once again to all the wonderful devotees who have been sending their prayers and well wishes Gopi's way. Your support for her (myself) and our family has been very important.
Prayer is like an invisible life line/net that stretches through time and space. It is comforting and I feel sheltered by it's (the prayers of our well wishers) warm embrace.
well, on a new front, just to add to the chaos, Gopala and Vrinda are now down with measles. Apparently, a college student a few doors down from Gopi's room was being treated for measles and I suspect that was the "source". Vrinda, in her super friendly extroverted way, is always making friends with people and she may have inadvertently played with the source. They are both getting some allopathic and ayurvedic meds. However, for now the two chumps have little rashes all over their bodies.
So, we have three patients in the room now - Gopi and the kids. The docs say that their condition should last for a few days.
Meanwhile, we are making sure that they stay away from Gopi. Gopi in the meantime is hanging in. She is now into her fifth week of treatment. Actually, there are three days of treatment left . After this there is a two week break and then two more individual treatments a week apart.
I am amazed that we have made it through four weeks already.
Thank you so much for your support, prayers and well wishes.
Prayer is like an invisible life line/net that stretches through time and space. It is comforting and I feel sheltered by it's (the prayers of our well wishers) warm embrace.
well, on a new front, just to add to the chaos, Gopala and Vrinda are now down with measles. Apparently, a college student a few doors down from Gopi's room was being treated for measles and I suspect that was the "source". Vrinda, in her super friendly extroverted way, is always making friends with people and she may have inadvertently played with the source. They are both getting some allopathic and ayurvedic meds. However, for now the two chumps have little rashes all over their bodies.
So, we have three patients in the room now - Gopi and the kids. The docs say that their condition should last for a few days.
Meanwhile, we are making sure that they stay away from Gopi. Gopi in the meantime is hanging in. She is now into her fifth week of treatment. Actually, there are three days of treatment left . After this there is a two week break and then two more individual treatments a week apart.
I am amazed that we have made it through four weeks already.
Thank you so much for your support, prayers and well wishes.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
is no news good news?
First of all, sorry to bother you with the morbid stories, but they are a reflection of reality. So, peace...
Honestly, I would be bored reading seemingly the same stuff everyday. illness, pain, illness, pain, pain, illness...
What to do? Sorry.
Well, the docs got back to me yesterday about the biopsy report. Over the last week, I had been consiously and subconsciouly bracing myself for the worst news. At this point in time, I would rather be surprised with "good" news than be unprepared for "bad" news. However, I proceeded to the docs office with anticipation. Anyways, the word is that the biopsy was inconclusive since it was considered "inadequate", or rather they did not get adequate info. The doc mentioned that even though the biopsy was guided by an MRI, sometimes adequate tissue is not collected to determine accurately whether the tissue/organ is affected. So, in this case they can't say yes or no. The solution is to do another biopsy. Gopi is not into doing one right away since she is in pain and doing this biopsy requires fasting for about half a day from food and water and it knocks her out. So, we will wait another week before we do the biopsy again.
The thing is that even if the biopsy proves the doctors suspicions (based on the CT scan ) positive, there is nothing much they can do. It will just change her stage of cancer from 3b to 4b (sounds like algebra)
Gopi has finished her 4th week of chemo and radiation and has a couple of days off. This week has been the worst so far.
I gave her some probiotics and it may have caused her a rash. She broke out in hives all over her arms and legs yesterday. She is better today.
However, she still has diarhea and puked a couple of times this morning.
Hare Krishna!
Honestly, I would be bored reading seemingly the same stuff everyday. illness, pain, illness, pain, pain, illness...
What to do? Sorry.
Well, the docs got back to me yesterday about the biopsy report. Over the last week, I had been consiously and subconsciouly bracing myself for the worst news. At this point in time, I would rather be surprised with "good" news than be unprepared for "bad" news. However, I proceeded to the docs office with anticipation. Anyways, the word is that the biopsy was inconclusive since it was considered "inadequate", or rather they did not get adequate info. The doc mentioned that even though the biopsy was guided by an MRI, sometimes adequate tissue is not collected to determine accurately whether the tissue/organ is affected. So, in this case they can't say yes or no. The solution is to do another biopsy. Gopi is not into doing one right away since she is in pain and doing this biopsy requires fasting for about half a day from food and water and it knocks her out. So, we will wait another week before we do the biopsy again.
The thing is that even if the biopsy proves the doctors suspicions (based on the CT scan ) positive, there is nothing much they can do. It will just change her stage of cancer from 3b to 4b (sounds like algebra)
Gopi has finished her 4th week of chemo and radiation and has a couple of days off. This week has been the worst so far.
I gave her some probiotics and it may have caused her a rash. She broke out in hives all over her arms and legs yesterday. She is better today.
However, she still has diarhea and puked a couple of times this morning.
Hare Krishna!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
liquid beauty confirmed
All those years of hearing about and seeing dramas on "liquid beauty". I never thought that I would be a first hand witness....
I mean in theory it sounds real, but I always thought it was a "cute" metaphor/story, which woman (or man ) would really want to do that. However, sometimes things happen that we don't want to. Nothing like radiation therapy, puking and diarhea to release liquid beauty. It is not the conscious ingestion of laxatives and purgatives, but the effect, though, is somehow the same...
I mean in theory it sounds real, but I always thought it was a "cute" metaphor/story, which woman (or man ) would really want to do that. However, sometimes things happen that we don't want to. Nothing like radiation therapy, puking and diarhea to release liquid beauty. It is not the conscious ingestion of laxatives and purgatives, but the effect, though, is somehow the same...
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
skin and bones
Gopi was ill yesterday, but we were lucky that we had some nice visitors. Manu Suta Prabhu, who manages a farm at Varahavan (the appearance place of Lord Varaha ??), stopped by for awhile. He is a really nice devotee and we always enjoy his association. He got Gopi a bunch of Noni pills (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noni) from Dr. Alva's pharmacy in Moodbidri a town not too far from here.
Later in the day Tejiyas Prabhu stopped by for a visit. It was refreshing to have the association of two senior Prabhupada disciples.
We are still waiting to hear from the docs about the biopsy report (liver). Gopi's wbc count is low and so the chemo was postponed for tomorrow. Instead they gave her a shot to boost her wbc count.
Gopi is all skin and bones. Today I had a realisation about the Bhagavatam speaking that this body is a bag comprising of the three dhatus - kunape tri dhatuke (?).
Later in the day Tejiyas Prabhu stopped by for a visit. It was refreshing to have the association of two senior Prabhupada disciples.
We are still waiting to hear from the docs about the biopsy report (liver). Gopi's wbc count is low and so the chemo was postponed for tomorrow. Instead they gave her a shot to boost her wbc count.
Gopi is all skin and bones. Today I had a realisation about the Bhagavatam speaking that this body is a bag comprising of the three dhatus - kunape tri dhatuke (?).
Monday, September 17, 2007
week 4
so, today the fourth week of treatment has begun.
Gopi has been ill for the last two days. She had to keep going to the bathroom yesterday and since this morning she has had diarhea. she was in such pain and agony.
I got her some ayurvedic meds from a doctor who I heard of threw the grapevine. He prescribed some meds for her to stimulate her liver and remove some of the toxins of the treatment. Every time she takes this ayurvedic medicine (which has been twice) she throws up within half an hour or so. So, we decided that she won't take it today. Interestingly, the chief component of the medicine is cumin!!
according to ayurveda, the best medicine is gold- purified gold called "suvarna bhasma", which serves as a rasayana or rejuvenative.
Gopi has been ill for the last two days. She had to keep going to the bathroom yesterday and since this morning she has had diarhea. she was in such pain and agony.
I got her some ayurvedic meds from a doctor who I heard of threw the grapevine. He prescribed some meds for her to stimulate her liver and remove some of the toxins of the treatment. Every time she takes this ayurvedic medicine (which has been twice) she throws up within half an hour or so. So, we decided that she won't take it today. Interestingly, the chief component of the medicine is cumin!!
according to ayurveda, the best medicine is gold- purified gold called "suvarna bhasma", which serves as a rasayana or rejuvenative.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
one day at a time
Gopi illness has made me appreciate prayer more and more.
We don't have regular devotee association, but we feel blessed that so many wonderful devotees are offering their prayers on her behalf. We feel blessed and Gopi is especially touched that devotees care for her. Unfortunately, in our busy worlds, we sometimes don't take the time or we feel inhibited from offering our love and appreciation for one another. However, Gopi's illness has made me see the soft heartedness of devotees and their care and compassion for one another, at least in times of distress. We are most grateful...
Many nice devotees have shared their experiences with cancer and their attempts and efforts to fight this disease. It has been so helpful. The most helpful part, to me, apart from the healing strategies, is to know that there are a lot of "survivors" out there (using varied methods of treatment). What it has made apparent to me is that, try what one may, ultimately it is the plan of the Lord whether one will live a few more days, months or years. One can only do one's best to fight...
Gopi's health is so unstable. One day she seems a bit better, the next she is miserable. Yesterday, again, she was running a fever and shivering. This morning she threw up bile, the first time during her three weeks of treatment. Yes, she has finished three weeks and we have two to go. The docs say that it is expected (the vomiting) during this kind of treatment. But, I keep wondering if it is not her liver. We are still waiting on the results of the biopsy.
The words of encouragement and support of the devotees have been so wonderful. I offer you my pranams and gratitude
We don't have regular devotee association, but we feel blessed that so many wonderful devotees are offering their prayers on her behalf. We feel blessed and Gopi is especially touched that devotees care for her. Unfortunately, in our busy worlds, we sometimes don't take the time or we feel inhibited from offering our love and appreciation for one another. However, Gopi's illness has made me see the soft heartedness of devotees and their care and compassion for one another, at least in times of distress. We are most grateful...
Many nice devotees have shared their experiences with cancer and their attempts and efforts to fight this disease. It has been so helpful. The most helpful part, to me, apart from the healing strategies, is to know that there are a lot of "survivors" out there (using varied methods of treatment). What it has made apparent to me is that, try what one may, ultimately it is the plan of the Lord whether one will live a few more days, months or years. One can only do one's best to fight...
Gopi's health is so unstable. One day she seems a bit better, the next she is miserable. Yesterday, again, she was running a fever and shivering. This morning she threw up bile, the first time during her three weeks of treatment. Yes, she has finished three weeks and we have two to go. The docs say that it is expected (the vomiting) during this kind of treatment. But, I keep wondering if it is not her liver. We are still waiting on the results of the biopsy.
The words of encouragement and support of the devotees have been so wonderful. I offer you my pranams and gratitude
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Govinda Jaya Jaya!
Gopi was in pain again today. She was on a couple of drips - a B12, etc and then the Chemo drip. However, she was almost freaking a bit - she was shivering and her body was quivering and she was running a fever.
However, they gave her some meds to bring the fever down and then the Chemo. By the end of the day she was more relaxed etc.
Govinda Prabhu from Chowpatty visited this evening along with Dayal Chandra Prabhu, his son and another devotee named Karunakaran. It was really nice to see them, especially for Gopi. The association of devotees is so cooling. Especially Govinda, who we know over the last few years. We last saw him in Columbus, OH about a couple of years ago when he stopped by with a couple of devotees for Prasad. Govinda leads very sweet Bhajans, though we didn't chant any this time.
However, they gave her some meds to bring the fever down and then the Chemo. By the end of the day she was more relaxed etc.
Govinda Prabhu from Chowpatty visited this evening along with Dayal Chandra Prabhu, his son and another devotee named Karunakaran. It was really nice to see them, especially for Gopi. The association of devotees is so cooling. Especially Govinda, who we know over the last few years. We last saw him in Columbus, OH about a couple of years ago when he stopped by with a couple of devotees for Prasad. Govinda leads very sweet Bhajans, though we didn't chant any this time.
Monday, September 10, 2007
getting inspiration
So, Suvarna Manjari gave Bhakti Tirtha swami's book-Beggar : Die before dying - to Gopi. Suvarna and her husband, whom we met here in Udupi for the first time ( if there is really such a thing, in eternity that is) helped Gopi get to the hospital - really nice couple. They didn't know she had cancer because the diagnosis was not out before the left India, but incidently the book has a lot to do with living (and dying ) with cancer.
Some thoughts (from the book) that Gopi talks about are learning to love the cancer...
Gopala started reading a bit of the book. The first thing that he gleaned from the book was that we are all "dead men walking" . Gopala says that he understood that we are all dying from the moment that we are born.
Yesterday, Gopala read about being grateful for the good health that we had in the past...
Some thoughts (from the book) that Gopi talks about are learning to love the cancer...
Gopala started reading a bit of the book. The first thing that he gleaned from the book was that we are all "dead men walking" . Gopala says that he understood that we are all dying from the moment that we are born.
Yesterday, Gopala read about being grateful for the good health that we had in the past...
Cat and mouse
Dr. Vidya sagar (ocean of knowledge) the head of the oncology dept was in to see Gopi this morning. He mentioned to her that she will need to have a biopsy done tomorrow to check some things in her liver. So, while she doesn't know what he suspects, she is aware that they think there may be something up with her liver. Well, we can't really have a biopsy done on her liver without her knowing it. The biopsy involves sticking a needle into her liver to extract some on the suspected tissue. Gopi hates needles, fears them. So, her main concern is whether it will hurt and the doctor told her that there would be some local anesthesia used.
One time, in jest , she mentioned how she would be a bad junkie because she feared needles. I remember when I was about 8 I had pneumonia and I used to get a shot in my ass every day for a month or so. I didn' tmind it too much, back them at least.
Gopi was in a lot of pain again today. She has no appetite and I have to literally fight with her to coerce her to eat.
Sometimes, I wish they would give her some natural narcotics or opiates for her pain - opium or hashish or something. I mean it's not like these pain killers are any better, with their side effects and all. At least the hash would make her want to eat - give her the munchies... But, then I am not a doctor and the pharmaceutical companies rule the world.
One time, in jest , she mentioned how she would be a bad junkie because she feared needles. I remember when I was about 8 I had pneumonia and I used to get a shot in my ass every day for a month or so. I didn' tmind it too much, back them at least.
Gopi was in a lot of pain again today. She has no appetite and I have to literally fight with her to coerce her to eat.
Sometimes, I wish they would give her some natural narcotics or opiates for her pain - opium or hashish or something. I mean it's not like these pain killers are any better, with their side effects and all. At least the hash would make her want to eat - give her the munchies... But, then I am not a doctor and the pharmaceutical companies rule the world.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
last night and some thoughts
Gopi was in great pain last night. She had a pretty sleepless night - moaning and tossing and turning from the pain. Her appetite sucks and I have to almost coerce her to eat at times. I got her a sub today, but that didn't fly either.
A couple of my sisters are here today and they took the kids out with them.
The doctors have scheduled the biopsy for the 11th tuesday and the results won't be in for abother week after that. So, I don't plan to tell Gopi about the other (liver) issue
It is so easy to get distracted from the fragility of life, especially with the intoxicating nature of the world when things are "seeming" to go well. However, difficult circumstances serve as a reminder of the ephemeral nature of the world.
Seeing the evolution of Gopi's health condition has been a real awakener. However, yesterday in the bleakest moments, by the good fortune of the Lord, I was remembering Sril Prabhupada. Obviously, there is no comparison on any level - comparing a giant to an ant- but, I was thinking of Srila Prabhupada's repeated attempts at business and endeavours to spread Krishna Consciousness that were not initially sucessful (at least externally) and of how Prabhupada realised that these were actually blessings from the Lord- the Lord takes away everything from those that he benedicts/blesses.
Externally, I am hanging on but internally I feel like I am going through the spin dry portion of a wash....
I feel like I am in a whirlwind and have no idea where I will be let off...
A couple of my sisters are here today and they took the kids out with them.
The doctors have scheduled the biopsy for the 11th tuesday and the results won't be in for abother week after that. So, I don't plan to tell Gopi about the other (liver) issue
It is so easy to get distracted from the fragility of life, especially with the intoxicating nature of the world when things are "seeming" to go well. However, difficult circumstances serve as a reminder of the ephemeral nature of the world.
Seeing the evolution of Gopi's health condition has been a real awakener. However, yesterday in the bleakest moments, by the good fortune of the Lord, I was remembering Sril Prabhupada. Obviously, there is no comparison on any level - comparing a giant to an ant- but, I was thinking of Srila Prabhupada's repeated attempts at business and endeavours to spread Krishna Consciousness that were not initially sucessful (at least externally) and of how Prabhupada realised that these were actually blessings from the Lord- the Lord takes away everything from those that he benedicts/blesses.
Externally, I am hanging on but internally I feel like I am going through the spin dry portion of a wash....
I feel like I am in a whirlwind and have no idea where I will be let off...
always something to look forward to
Yesterday, when I returned from the doctors we were visited by some friends Nitin and Neha and their 3 year old.
Nitin is the younger brother of my dear friend Chetan (currently in LA) who I used to hang out with alot while growing up. Nitin lives in the beautiful town of Madiker (formerly Mercara) about 3-4 hours east of here, up in the mountains, right by the source of the river Cauvery. He and his family were on their way back from Mumbai after visiting a friend in the hospital. Well, not any hospital but, the Bhaktivedanta Hospital. They spoke very highly of the hospital. Anyways, the stopped by for a couple of hours on their way home. Vrinda and Gopal were happy for the company - Vrinda played with their 3 year old. Gopi was happy to see them again - she had met them about 5 years ago in Chennai.
While they were visiting, Tejiyas Prabhu came by for a bit. The kids love him. He's got some stories that are quite unbelievable, but he is actually a very sober person who has had some nice association with Srila Prabhupada.
While he was visitng us, Tejiyas gave us some nectar from his association with Prabhupada - actually the last time he spoke to Prabhupada- in Vrindavan Oct(?) 1977, while Srila Prabhupada was getting ready to leave his body. It was so nice and soothing to get some sweet nectar pastimes. At that time (1977), Tejiyas was involved with the Hyderabad farm. He said that even though Prabhupada was very weak and had barely been eating for months, he still was so concerned about the devotees and preaching activities. When Tejiyas told Prabhupada what they were growing on the farm, Prabhupada replied (completely paraphrasing...)"Oh Corn! Yes, the villagers will like it " and he also told Tejiyas a couple of preps that could be made with corn.
Two of my sisters (blood) are visiting from Chennai for a couple of days. So, that will be nice for the kids, too.
Nitin is the younger brother of my dear friend Chetan (currently in LA) who I used to hang out with alot while growing up. Nitin lives in the beautiful town of Madiker (formerly Mercara) about 3-4 hours east of here, up in the mountains, right by the source of the river Cauvery. He and his family were on their way back from Mumbai after visiting a friend in the hospital. Well, not any hospital but, the Bhaktivedanta Hospital. They spoke very highly of the hospital. Anyways, the stopped by for a couple of hours on their way home. Vrinda and Gopal were happy for the company - Vrinda played with their 3 year old. Gopi was happy to see them again - she had met them about 5 years ago in Chennai.
While they were visiting, Tejiyas Prabhu came by for a bit. The kids love him. He's got some stories that are quite unbelievable, but he is actually a very sober person who has had some nice association with Srila Prabhupada.
While he was visitng us, Tejiyas gave us some nectar from his association with Prabhupada - actually the last time he spoke to Prabhupada- in Vrindavan Oct(?) 1977, while Srila Prabhupada was getting ready to leave his body. It was so nice and soothing to get some sweet nectar pastimes. At that time (1977), Tejiyas was involved with the Hyderabad farm. He said that even though Prabhupada was very weak and had barely been eating for months, he still was so concerned about the devotees and preaching activities. When Tejiyas told Prabhupada what they were growing on the farm, Prabhupada replied (completely paraphrasing...)"Oh Corn! Yes, the villagers will like it " and he also told Tejiyas a couple of preps that could be made with corn.
Two of my sisters (blood) are visiting from Chennai for a couple of days. So, that will be nice for the kids, too.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
rollercoaster
I won't get fooled again.......
Well, that's the thought running through my head now.
I had a feeling when I wrote yesterday that the CT scan came in as "clean" that there was a chance of a jinx. The native americans, at least the Lakota (of South Dakota) had a healer/trickster called a "heyoka", a contrarian. He would do things backwards, opposites .... Well, for years I have felt that when I say that I want to do something or that something was going to happen, then the opposite would.
Well, the head of the oncology department called me in this morning. He wanted to talk to me. Well, I had a feeling, in my gut, that something was wrong. I controlled my breath and mind and tried to think of Sri Krishna as I approached his office. The news folks is that the cancer is in Gopi's liver, too. He said that they would need to do a biopsy to confirm it, but that is what it looks like. He says that he was kind of surprised because she has not been exhibiting the symptoms (of cancer in the liver). So, things aren't so clean after all.
I feel sick to my stomach- a combination of fear, uneasiness, the unknown, death....
I mean Gopi seems to look better today, than she has in last few days, at least. I haven't told her as yet. I don't want to disturb her or bother her right now.
So, her classification goes from stage 3b to 4b. Seems like a game...
The doc says that if his diagnosis is accurate (determined by the biopsy) then the plan of treatment will change, focussing more on pain management. Basically, there is crap they can do.
However, just a couple of days ago my friends mom told me that she knew someone whose liver was "finished but he survived and is doing well. The key she said was that he was commited to beating it.
Gopi is so weak and is still struggling with coming to terms with what's going on.
Please keep her in your prayers
Well, that's the thought running through my head now.
I had a feeling when I wrote yesterday that the CT scan came in as "clean" that there was a chance of a jinx. The native americans, at least the Lakota (of South Dakota) had a healer/trickster called a "heyoka", a contrarian. He would do things backwards, opposites .... Well, for years I have felt that when I say that I want to do something or that something was going to happen, then the opposite would.
Well, the head of the oncology department called me in this morning. He wanted to talk to me. Well, I had a feeling, in my gut, that something was wrong. I controlled my breath and mind and tried to think of Sri Krishna as I approached his office. The news folks is that the cancer is in Gopi's liver, too. He said that they would need to do a biopsy to confirm it, but that is what it looks like. He says that he was kind of surprised because she has not been exhibiting the symptoms (of cancer in the liver). So, things aren't so clean after all.
I feel sick to my stomach- a combination of fear, uneasiness, the unknown, death....
I mean Gopi seems to look better today, than she has in last few days, at least. I haven't told her as yet. I don't want to disturb her or bother her right now.
So, her classification goes from stage 3b to 4b. Seems like a game...
The doc says that if his diagnosis is accurate (determined by the biopsy) then the plan of treatment will change, focussing more on pain management. Basically, there is crap they can do.
However, just a couple of days ago my friends mom told me that she knew someone whose liver was "finished but he survived and is doing well. The key she said was that he was commited to beating it.
Gopi is so weak and is still struggling with coming to terms with what's going on.
Please keep her in your prayers
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
the treatment continues
My last couple of attempts to add to the updates were sabotaged by crashing connections. So, I will try again.
Gopi has been doing a bit better. But, in a relative world full of relative situations, this is just a relative condition. Last week it was constipation this week it’s the opposite….
At least her fever seems to have been down for the last couple of days, but last night it sneaked its peeky little head again. When Gopi and I got together she was a bit well rounded, years of marriage to me seemed to have made her lose quite some weight and then this illness has had another toll on her….
They sent Gopi for an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging ) yesterday. However, for an MRI to be accurate, one has to be stationary for an hour or so in a not so comfortable position. So, Gopi couldn’t do it because she was not comfortable. They will do a CT scan today. Essentially, these are on our request (not what the docs require) so that we can have an objective idea of what the situation is and then compare it with post treatment. Apparently, at least for this kind of cancer, MRI’s and CT scans are not required. The docs require on clinical diagnosis, which really means manual or digital (finger and not the computer kind) diagnosis to determine the extent and spread of the disease.
Gopala returned to our fold yesterday after spending about 5 days with Tejiyas and Toshan. When I went to get him he was all cuddly with me running his hands through my hair and touching my cheeks. It seems like her missed us.
another day
Gopi seems a bit better today. Yesterday was rough. She had a CT scan of her abdomen. In order to do it she had to refrain from food and water and then was given and injection and some fluid to drink. She was nauseas the rest of the day.
The MRI will apparently be attempted again tomorrow, under seadtion, so that she won't move during it.
The CT scan results showed that the cancer had not spread (as the doctors predicted ) to the stomach etc and the lymph nodes look "clean". Being in the hospital is a good way to get educated about the human body ....
The MRI will apparently be attempted again tomorrow, under seadtion, so that she won't move during it.
The CT scan results showed that the cancer had not spread (as the doctors predicted ) to the stomach etc and the lymph nodes look "clean". Being in the hospital is a good way to get educated about the human body ....
the treatment (saved draft)_
Yesterday, was Gopi's second Chemo treatment. So, this is week two.
Last week it was constipation, this week it seems to be the opposite.
Her fever is down though, which is great news.
Her doctor is a really nice, gentle soul -Dr. Vadiraja (Vadiraja,incidently, is one of the great acharyas in the line coming from Madhvacharya. It is said that the Lord would come as Sri Hayagriva and eat foodstuffs that he cooked everyday!!! It is common around the maths in Udupi to see a picture of Vadiraja with a basket of food on his head and a horse - Hayagriva- standing behind the basket and eating from it)
Gopi was also a distraught the day before and so the doc recommended she talk to the resident Pyscho-oncologist - a bearded Freudian doc. Very nice and mellow though.
They gave her a shot in increase her hemoglobin count today, too.
One of the best experiences in India is to buy something at a store or counter that is busy. The concept of a line or respecting those who are ahead of you or "waiting before you" does not exist here. It is the herd.......you just push your way, inch your way or edge your way ahead. This is so most of the time though not always. Especially, if I happen to be waiting . Wasting no words or emotions I clearly tell folks to get behind me
Last week it was constipation, this week it seems to be the opposite.
Her fever is down though, which is great news.
Her doctor is a really nice, gentle soul -Dr. Vadiraja (Vadiraja,incidently, is one of the great acharyas in the line coming from Madhvacharya. It is said that the Lord would come as Sri Hayagriva and eat foodstuffs that he cooked everyday!!! It is common around the maths in Udupi to see a picture of Vadiraja with a basket of food on his head and a horse - Hayagriva- standing behind the basket and eating from it)
Gopi was also a distraught the day before and so the doc recommended she talk to the resident Pyscho-oncologist - a bearded Freudian doc. Very nice and mellow though.
They gave her a shot in increase her hemoglobin count today, too.
One of the best experiences in India is to buy something at a store or counter that is busy. The concept of a line or respecting those who are ahead of you or "waiting before you" does not exist here. It is the herd.......you just push your way, inch your way or edge your way ahead. This is so most of the time though not always. Especially, if I happen to be waiting . Wasting no words or emotions I clearly tell folks to get behind me
Saturday, September 1, 2007
day 6
So, after all, Gopi did have her radiation yesterday (day 5). the doctors felt that she had recovered (from the fever) enough to continue with it.
She is fine for the most part, but suffered from constipation yesterday, so the docs gave her a laxative. Between, the radiation and the pain from her cancer she is quite sore in her lower extremities.
They will give her another dose of radiation. The radiation is only for about 3 minutes (a minute and half on her front and likewise on her back).
Gopala went to Tejiyas' house last night to spend a couple of days. There is another young devotee boy named Toshan (aged 13) who is staying there. So, Gopala gets to hang with someone closer to his age. He was excited because he really likes Tejiyas (who is quite knowledgeable about a lot of things; very well read) and enjoys Toshan's company.
Vrinda and I dropped Gopala off at Tejiyas' ( he lives about 10 minutes away from the hospital http://www.manipalhospital.org/content/view/71/90/ ). Vrinda wanted to stay over too (she's very fond of Tejiyas too), but I told her that when Gopala was her age, we never let him out of our sight at all (at least tried not to). She found that amusing. Tejiyas is also a cancer survivor. HE had prostate cancer. He used to be the temple president in Delhi in the 1970's and had quite some of Srila Prabhupada's association.
Radhe Radhe!
She is fine for the most part, but suffered from constipation yesterday, so the docs gave her a laxative. Between, the radiation and the pain from her cancer she is quite sore in her lower extremities.
They will give her another dose of radiation. The radiation is only for about 3 minutes (a minute and half on her front and likewise on her back).
Gopala went to Tejiyas' house last night to spend a couple of days. There is another young devotee boy named Toshan (aged 13) who is staying there. So, Gopala gets to hang with someone closer to his age. He was excited because he really likes Tejiyas (who is quite knowledgeable about a lot of things; very well read) and enjoys Toshan's company.
Vrinda and I dropped Gopala off at Tejiyas' ( he lives about 10 minutes away from the hospital http://www.manipalhospital.org/content/view/71/90/ ). Vrinda wanted to stay over too (she's very fond of Tejiyas too), but I told her that when Gopala was her age, we never let him out of our sight at all (at least tried not to). She found that amusing. Tejiyas is also a cancer survivor. HE had prostate cancer. He used to be the temple president in Delhi in the 1970's and had quite some of Srila Prabhupada's association.
Radhe Radhe!
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