Gopi was in great pain last night. She had a pretty sleepless night - moaning and tossing and turning from the pain. Her appetite sucks and I have to almost coerce her to eat at times. I got her a sub today, but that didn't fly either.
A couple of my sisters are here today and they took the kids out with them.
The doctors have scheduled the biopsy for the 11th tuesday and the results won't be in for abother week after that. So, I don't plan to tell Gopi about the other (liver) issue
It is so easy to get distracted from the fragility of life, especially with the intoxicating nature of the world when things are "seeming" to go well. However, difficult circumstances serve as a reminder of the ephemeral nature of the world.
Seeing the evolution of Gopi's health condition has been a real awakener. However, yesterday in the bleakest moments, by the good fortune of the Lord, I was remembering Sril Prabhupada. Obviously, there is no comparison on any level - comparing a giant to an ant- but, I was thinking of Srila Prabhupada's repeated attempts at business and endeavours to spread Krishna Consciousness that were not initially sucessful (at least externally) and of how Prabhupada realised that these were actually blessings from the Lord- the Lord takes away everything from those that he benedicts/blesses.
Externally, I am hanging on but internally I feel like I am going through the spin dry portion of a wash....
I feel like I am in a whirlwind and have no idea where I will be let off...
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