measles and more

So, fortunately, the measles episode for the kids seems to be under control. The rash on their bodies have subsided (mostly) and they have recovered from the lethargy that accompanied the illness (they are back to driving Gopi and me nuts, but it's betetr having them this way than all spaced out). It seems like I have got a bit of the bug, too or it may be all the stress etc that has accumulated and I have been feeling really tired for the lst couple of days. feel better today, though.
Gopi's got two more radiation treatments left for this phase of her treatment. They have cancelled her last chemotherapy, which was due yesterday, because her blood count was too low. However, wea re kind of glad. The treatment has her knocked out. She was really faint today. She wanted to go for a walk down the hall but barely made it to the door. However, it is not constant after some rest she seemed a tad bit better.
We were visted by a dutch devotee named Jayananda today. He is really interesting - he has spent years on and off in India, but really likes the Udupi area. I met him here several months ago and he is back again.
There are two ayurvedic doctors in this area who are frequented by devotees (and others too) - Dr. Shiv Kumar (who has treated Varsana Swami, Niranjana Swami and others) and Dr. Tanmay Goswami (who was a gurukuli and is related to the Radha Raman family). Anyways, about 10 days before Gopi was in the hospital in April (for her chest surgery - they removed a part of the lining of her left lung) we had gone to see Dr. Tanmay Goswami. He does this thing where he looks at the astrological charts of his patients. Anyways, he saw Gopi's chart (at that time she was just having lung pains ) and said "wrong diagnosis"!!! Well, now we know...

as luck would have it

thanks once again to all the wonderful devotees who have been sending their prayers and well wishes Gopi's way. Your support for her (myself) and our family has been very important.

Prayer is like an invisible life line/net that stretches through time and space. It is comforting and I feel sheltered by it's (the prayers of our well wishers) warm embrace.

well, on a new front, just to add to the chaos, Gopala and Vrinda are now down with measles. Apparently, a college student a few doors down from Gopi's room was being treated for measles and I suspect that was the "source". Vrinda, in her super friendly extroverted way, is always making friends with people and she may have inadvertently played with the source. They are both getting some allopathic and ayurvedic meds. However, for now the two chumps have little rashes all over their bodies.

So, we have three patients in the room now - Gopi and the kids. The docs say that their condition should last for a few days.

Meanwhile, we are making sure that they stay away from Gopi. Gopi in the meantime is hanging in. She is now into her fifth week of treatment. Actually, there are three days of treatment left . After this there is a two week break and then two more individual treatments a week apart.

I am amazed that we have made it through four weeks already.

Thank you so much for your support, prayers and well wishes.

is no news good news?

First of all, sorry to bother you with the morbid stories, but they are a reflection of reality. So, peace...

Honestly, I would be bored reading seemingly the same stuff everyday. illness, pain, illness, pain, pain, illness...

What to do? Sorry.

Well, the docs got back to me yesterday about the biopsy report. Over the last week, I had been consiously and subconsciouly bracing myself for the worst news. At this point in time, I would rather be surprised with "good" news than be unprepared for "bad" news. However, I proceeded to the docs office with anticipation. Anyways, the word is that the biopsy was inconclusive since it was considered "inadequate", or rather they did not get adequate info. The doc mentioned that even though the biopsy was guided by an MRI, sometimes adequate tissue is not collected to determine accurately whether the tissue/organ is affected. So, in this case they can't say yes or no. The solution is to do another biopsy. Gopi is not into doing one right away since she is in pain and doing this biopsy requires fasting for about half a day from food and water and it knocks her out. So, we will wait another week before we do the biopsy again.

The thing is that even if the biopsy proves the doctors suspicions (based on the CT scan ) positive, there is nothing much they can do. It will just change her stage of cancer from 3b to 4b (sounds like algebra)

Gopi has finished her 4th week of chemo and radiation and has a couple of days off. This week has been the worst so far.

I gave her some probiotics and it may have caused her a rash. She broke out in hives all over her arms and legs yesterday. She is better today.

However, she still has diarhea and puked a couple of times this morning.

Hare Krishna!

liquid beauty confirmed

All those years of hearing about and seeing dramas on "liquid beauty". I never thought that I would be a first hand witness....

I mean in theory it sounds real, but I always thought it was a "cute" metaphor/story, which woman (or man ) would really want to do that. However, sometimes things happen that we don't want to. Nothing like radiation therapy, puking and diarhea to release liquid beauty. It is not the conscious ingestion of laxatives and purgatives, but the effect, though, is somehow the same...

skin and bones

Gopi was ill yesterday, but we were lucky that we had some nice visitors. Manu Suta Prabhu, who manages a farm at Varahavan (the appearance place of Lord Varaha ??), stopped by for awhile. He is a really nice devotee and we always enjoy his association. He got Gopi a bunch of Noni pills (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noni) from Dr. Alva's pharmacy in Moodbidri a town not too far from here.
Later in the day Tejiyas Prabhu stopped by for a visit. It was refreshing to have the association of two senior Prabhupada disciples.
We are still waiting to hear from the docs about the biopsy report (liver). Gopi's wbc count is low and so the chemo was postponed for tomorrow. Instead they gave her a shot to boost her wbc count.
Gopi is all skin and bones. Today I had a realisation about the Bhagavatam speaking that this body is a bag comprising of the three dhatus - kunape tri dhatuke (?).

week 4

so, today the fourth week of treatment has begun.

Gopi has been ill for the last two days. She had to keep going to the bathroom yesterday and since this morning she has had diarhea. she was in such pain and agony.

I got her some ayurvedic meds from a doctor who I heard of threw the grapevine. He prescribed some meds for her to stimulate her liver and remove some of the toxins of the treatment. Every time she takes this ayurvedic medicine (which has been twice) she throws up within half an hour or so. So, we decided that she won't take it today. Interestingly, the chief component of the medicine is cumin!!


according to ayurveda, the best medicine is gold- purified gold called "suvarna bhasma", which serves as a rasayana or rejuvenative.

one day at a time

Gopi illness has made me appreciate prayer more and more.

We don't have regular devotee association, but we feel blessed that so many wonderful devotees are offering their prayers on her behalf. We feel blessed and Gopi is especially touched that devotees care for her. Unfortunately, in our busy worlds, we sometimes don't take the time or we feel inhibited from offering our love and appreciation for one another. However, Gopi's illness has made me see the soft heartedness of devotees and their care and compassion for one another, at least in times of distress. We are most grateful...

Many nice devotees have shared their experiences with cancer and their attempts and efforts to fight this disease. It has been so helpful. The most helpful part, to me, apart from the healing strategies, is to know that there are a lot of "survivors" out there (using varied methods of treatment). What it has made apparent to me is that, try what one may, ultimately it is the plan of the Lord whether one will live a few more days, months or years. One can only do one's best to fight...

Gopi's health is so unstable. One day she seems a bit better, the next she is miserable. Yesterday, again, she was running a fever and shivering. This morning she threw up bile, the first time during her three weeks of treatment. Yes, she has finished three weeks and we have two to go. The docs say that it is expected (the vomiting) during this kind of treatment. But, I keep wondering if it is not her liver. We are still waiting on the results of the biopsy.

The words of encouragement and support of the devotees have been so wonderful. I offer you my pranams and gratitude